I am an organised person. I prefer to plan things in advance and think through different scenarios so I can be prepared. I sometimes feel uncomfortable when I am caught off guard.
Before I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, I remember going to a hospital appointment thinking of the possible outcomes – they could tell me what’s wrong or they could send me for more tests. In my attempt to think of all possible outcomes, I specifically remember thinking – it’s possible my appointment will get cancelled and I won’t even see the consultant.*
What I’ve since learned is that I can’t think of every single possible outcome in all situations. Therefore I can’t be prepared for everything that might happen. So I’ve gradually adopted a more realistic approach. I now try to be aware of all the assumptions that I make on a daily basis. Knowing they are assumptions (often reasonable assumptions, but still assumptions rather than givens), allows me not get as frustrated / stressed / anxious when things don’t happen the way I assumed they would.
On a working day, I assume my alarm clock will go off, I assume the weather forecast is right so I don’t need an umbrella, I assume the computers will work – my list of assumptions is endless. But I no longer feel the need to consider all the possible outcomes, it’s enough for me to know that if any of my assumptions turn out to be incorrect (and I’m late for work / get drenched on the way / can’t access my emails), I will deal with it.
I do make lots of assumptions, but I am aware that they are only assumptions and won’t necessarily happen. I’m learning to be ok with that now.
*just for completion – I did see the consultant and she sent me for more tests.