I don’t know how you feel

Sometimes when we’re going through hard times, it can feel like we’re all alone in the dark. Most of us know what it’s like to feel scared and alone. And when we see others – especially those we care about – going through hard times we want to help, but sometimes we don’t know how. We can’t change circumstances or situations, but we can show that we care.

I remember going to work the day after I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s just over four years ago. I told my manager and another member of my team. I don’t remember much about that conversation – I’m pretty sure I cried because I know it took me a while before I could say “I have Parkinson’s” without tears – but I do remember feeling supported. I also remember my manager bought me some flowers later that day.  I will always be grateful for that kind and thoughtful gesture.

Someone once told me they knew how I felt when I was diagnosed as they knew someone who had Parkinson’s. I know they meant well – they were probably trying to make me feel better by telling me I wasn’t alone. However, I appreciated much more the response I got from a friend whose reaction was along the lines of “I don’t know what to say, I have no idea how you must be feeling – but I am here for you.”

I don’t think we really know how other people feel even if they are going through a similar situation that we’ve been through.  Because we experienced that situation as us, they experience it as them, and we’re all different. In my experience, the smallest act of kindness or support – given with a little thought – can make a lot of difference. In those dark times, knowing that others care is like a candle being lit – sometimes a long way in the distance – offering a tiny glimmer of light and hope.

On that note, Christmas is approaching and it can be a difficult time for many people – especially those who have lost loved ones. I’d therefore like to share with you the Christmas single from my lovely and very talented choir teacher Gitika Partington‘s band – 3 Bucket Jones. I think this is a beautiful song and very apt at this time of year. Have a listen to ‘Light another candle for you’… https://youtu.be/VGfod2B2Nbc

Star candle


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