Hopefully ever after (whatever the weather)

Her Deep Brain Stimulation surgery was successful, the sun shone brightly every day, and she lived happily every after…

Not quite. Yes, my Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) surgery (18 months ago) was successful and I am so very grateful for that. The sun has definitely shone brightly on some days since my DBS surgery. As for ‘happily ever after’ – does that really exist? And that’s not me being cynical, the idea that anyone could be ‘happy’ all the time, doesn’t seem realistic to me. Whether we like it or not, life is always throwing challenges at all of us…

Life continued to throw various challenges at me after my DBS surgery. I know that if I hadn’t had my DBS surgery, life would have been even more difficult, so in a way, I think I felt that I should be able to cope with these challenges. That made it even harder for me to admit that I was struggling to cope and I found myself feeling completely overwhelmed. I felt lost, and I couldn’t see the wood from the trees. I didn’t feel like myself anymore.

When you can’t see the wood from the trees

Once I had actually admitted that I was struggling to myself, and then to those closest to me, I began to reach out, asking for help and advice. It’s early days, but I feel like I have really turned a corner recently. I’m so very grateful to have those special people in my life. Thank you!

A daisy, in full focus

Walking in the rain
Last week, I spent a day working in the office for the first time in three years, having been working at home since before the Covid-19 pandemic. It was a really wet and miserable day weather-wise. But for me, it was one of my most positive days in a long time. I don’t think I had really realised how much that lack of connection with other people over the last few years had affected me. It was so lovely to see my colleagues face to face, and meet a few colleagues in person for the first time. Even though it was raining heavily, I went for a walk at lunchtime with one of my new colleagues who I had only seen on screen before. We got wet, but we chatted and connected in a way that I don’t think we would have done via a screen. And we got in some exercise too, bringing my total steps for the day to nearly 9000 which is much more than it has been recently.

I must admit I did feel exhausted at the end of that day, but in a good way. I started to feel more positive, more connected, and more hopeful. I’m working towards living hopefully ever after (whatever the weather).

Hope – light shining through

One Comment Add yours

  1. So true. And lovey .

    Liked by 1 person

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